Under the Microscope
by Beka Alcott
Summary: A silly little ditty. It's a series of Instant Messenger conversations between our favourite SG team, accompanied by shameless SJ fluff, friendships and banter, fake marriages, and NID investigations ... :-P
1. Chapter 1

**Under the Microscope**

_Just a little something I found in my computer from years ago. Maybe a little silly, definitely shamelessly fluffy, and serious writers will probably mock it, but I had fun when I was __writing it so I hope someone out there can enjoy it too! Oh, and it uses the character Capt Michaela (Mickey) Dawson who some may recognise from another of my stories as being the team's administrative aid and close friend of Sam Carter._

_Enjoy! _

* * *

Mickey - Cat? You there?

Sam - Yeah. And I asked you not to call me that on base.

M - Oh come on, it's on IM, no one's gonna know. You gonna tell me what happened?

S - And there was me thinking you just wanted to talk to me.

M - Come on Cazzy, don't be like that! The ENTIRE base is talking about it – I gotta know!!!

S - Michaela Dawson, you are unbelievable.

M - Meaning what exactly?

S - I'd have thought you of all people would know by now that rumours are not to be trusted.

M - I know they're not, which is why I'm asking you for the _truth_!!!

S - And what if I don't wanna tell you?

M - Then I'll ask Jack. He'll tell me.

S - Okay, okay, but you MUST NOT circulate this. The rumours are bad enough without giving them ammunition

M - So . . .

S - So . . . we went to P8Y 252, and it turns out it's another one of these chauvinistic worlds where women are basically commodities.

M - And so . . . what? They tried to buy you?

S - Yeah, basically. They said I was breaking the law by carrying a weapon, and that by law I therefore belonged to the King.

M - But Jack bought you back, right?

S - Not exactly. Daniel asked if there were any loopholes, or circumstances where the law wouldn't apply.

M - And . . .

S - And . . . it turned out that if I was married to one of the guys, I was free.

M - Married?!?!? So it is true!

S - What exactly have you heard?

M - That Jack married you to save you from being abducted by the ruler of P-whatever.

S - He DID NOT marry me. He just said we were already married.

M - So then what happened?

S - We were asked to prove it.

M - What did you do?

_Pause_

M - Cat!

S - Okay, this is the bit that MUST NOT get out. At all. Under any circumstances. Got it?

M - Okay, okay, I promise. So what happened?

S - He kissed me.

M - Jack??? Jack kissed you??? Oh my God!

S - It was just . . . role play. He had to make the guards think I was his wife.

M - So what was it like?

S - Mickey!

M - Come on! Answer the question!

S - It was . . . a kiss. To be honest it took me completely by surprise.

M - And you lost the ability of intelligent thought for about five minutes afterwards, right?

S - More like ten.

M - Oh my God! Sammy! He kissed you! Finally!

S - It doesn't count. He didn't kiss me cos he wanted to, it was a necessity. If he hadn't done it I'd be property of the King right now, and God knows what would have happened to me then.

M - But still . . . he did kiss you. Daniel wouldn't have done it.

S - That's cos _Daniel_ tries to talk his way out of those situations. The colonel's a man of action.

M - Bet you're not sorry though!

S - Hell no!

S - Did I say that out loud?

M - Awww, it's okay Cat, you're allowed to be crazy-in-love around me.

S - I am NOT in love with him. Crazy, maybe, but not in love.

M - Liar.

S - Am not.

M - Are too.

S - Am not.

M - Are too! You're nuts about him. Just like he's nuts about you. It's a cruel reality that you're both airforce officers.

S - So . . . you won't tell anyone.

M - Course not! I don't want you two getting in trouble, do I? Who would I do admin for without you guys? SG-_3???_

S - Awww, don't be mean to the marines. I'm sure they have exciting admin work too.

M - Yeah right. They'd mock my system in between making obscenely chauvinistic remarks.

S - You have no system. And they'd get used to you being a girl.

M - Nah they wouldn't. I've worked with all-male teams before. That's why I like SG-1 so much, you've already got the boys well trained.

S - Damn right! They wouldn't dare make a sexist remark around me!

M - So . . . I won't tell anyone about yours' and Jack's little kiss . . .

S - Thank you! It is REALLY appreciated! And it was nothing really.

M - Sure.

S - It wasn't.

M - Ah ha. Look, honey, I have to dash, I'm being buried under a mountain of Jack's bloody memos that need sorting. I'll catch you later!

S - Okay. Have fun.

*

J - Carter? You there?

S - Yes sir, I'm here.

J - I just finished my report.

S - Really? That's gotta be a record!

J - Whaddaya mean?

S - I'm fairly sure that's the first time you've EVER finished a report before me.

J - Well, I wanted to get this one done.

S - I know what you mean.

J - So . . . we're okay with making certain . . . _omissions_?

S - Of course.

J - You don't sound convinced.

S - I'm convinced sir, really, I value my career.

J - But . . .

S - But, I'm worried about what will happen if anyone finds out. After we've lied in our reports.

J - We haven't _lied_. We just . . . left stuff out. And no one's gonna find out.

_Pause_

J - Alright, what?

S - Sir?

J - You wanna say something. What is it?

S - I'm just . . . are you worried about Teal'c?

J - Teal'c? Should I be?

S - He just seemed a little . . . disapproving . . . when you said we were gonna leave out . . . stuff.

J - Nah, don't worry about it. I talked to him afterwards and he was _disapproving_ about something completely different. He won't tell.

S - What wasn't he happy about?

_Pause_

J - Nothing.

S - Sir?

J - Has Mickey finished with my memos yet?

S - I dunno, nearly I think.

J - Catch you later.

S - Bye sir.

* * *

_Me likey revieweys. hint hint._

_Beka The Slightly Mad and Ridiculous. (I promise to be less insane and incessantly fluffy with my fics in 2009! It'll be a new year's resolution.)  
_


	2. Chapter 2

**_Under the Microscope - part 2_**

_For once, I have actually finished a whole story before posting the chapters! The upshot being you can expect updates for this story FAR more regularly than you would normally get them from me. Enjoy!_

_

* * *

_M - Hey Teal'c.

T - Hello Michaela Dawson.

M - How many times, T? It's Mickey! M-I-C-K-E-Y!!!

T - A compromise?

M - I'm listening.

T - Just Michaela?

M - Ummmm . . . okay, deal.

T - Very well.

M - So, Cat told me what happened.

T - Who is Cat?

M - Oh! Sorry, Sam. Sam Carter. I call her Cat, or Cazzy, cos . . . ah never mind. It's a long story.

T - I see.

M - So, they kissed! Tell me more!

T - I am most surprised that Major Carter told you. I was under the impression they wished no one to know.

M - Ah, come on, it's just me. I'm practically part of the team anyway. Okay, so I don't do any of the saving the world, action hero stuff, but still . . .

T - You are an integral part of the family, Michaela.

M - Awww, T, that's so sweet.

T - You are most welcome.

M - Anyway, yeah, Sam told me. And swore me to secrecy, but I wanted your take on it.

T - On the kiss?

M - Indeed.

T - I am . . . disappointed.

M - That they kissed?

T - That they are unwilling to address the stir of emotion it caused in both of them.

M - EXACTLY! I tried to get Cat to talk about that, but she just clammed up!

T - I spoke to O'Neill. He also was unwilling to discuss it.

M - So what do we do?

T - I do not believe we can do anything, other than wait. Obviously they do not wish to admit their feelings yet, and we cannot risk their careers without their consent.

M - Yeah, I had a feeling you'd say that.

T - However, I do believe they are making a grave error. Love is not to be dismissed.

M - So you do think it's love.

T - I am certain of it.

M - It's kinda sad, isn't it? That they love each other but can't do anything about it?

T - Indeed.

_Pause_

M - Anyway, T, I gotta go. Jack's chasing me for his precious memos. See you tonight?

T - Indeed.

* * *

_Hope you liked it! Please please please keep reviewing, it brightens my day._

_Beka :-)  
_


	3. Chapter 3

_**Under the microscope - part 3**_

_Et voila, numero trois! Ignore my appalling French, I've just made up for missing the last 15 days of my advent calendar and I'm on a chocolate/sugar high. I know, I'm a terrible terrible person! Anyhoo, enjoy the chapter! Let me stress again that this is something I wrote years ago and its purely for fun. I don't stay perfectly in character all the time and there are moments that just make me cringe, but as I don't have time to re-write the dodgy bits I'm posting it as-is. It probably comes off as a bit high-schooly, which is what bothers me most about it. Anyway, just wanted to apologise again for that. Imagine that at the same time there's a strange chemical making everyone act like teenagers, and then I might just get away with it. Maybe._

_Enjoy, mes amies!_

_

* * *

_D - Sam?

S - Daniel?

D - I just spoke to Teal'c.

S - Mmm?

D - And we had an interesting conversation.

S - That's nice. Really.

D - Don't poke fun at me. He said Mickey calls you 'Cat'.

S - Why the hell did she tell him that?

D - Why the hell does she call you 'Cat'??? Hey, that rhymes.

S - You know the colonel would call you a geek if he was in my place right now.

D - Don't change the subject.

S - Sorry.

D - So . . . ???

S - So . . . what???

D - Why 'Cat'?

S - Okay. About two weeks ago, she and I had a girl's night in and got a little bit drunk. In this slightly inebriated state, we had a conversation about what we would be if we were animals. It was pretty stupid really, and we must have sounded like right idiots, but anyway, Mickey insisted I was a cat, and that she was going to call me 'Cat' from now on. That and she thinks 'Cazzy' is short for Carter, and 'Cat' is short for 'Cazzy'.

D - Oh. I was hoping it was going to something embarrassing.

S - Thanks a bunch!

D - So what were we?

S - Huh?

D - If you were a cat, what were me, Jack and Teal'c? And Mickey?

S - I am _soooo_ not telling you that!

D - Why?

S - Because that _is _embarrassing!

D - Will Mickey tell me if I ask her?

S - I don't know. She seems to be immune from embarrassment.

D - I'll go ask her. Bye.

S - Daniel!

*

D - Mickey?

M - Doctor Daniel Melbourne Leonard Jackson. To what do I owe the pleasure?

D - God, Mickey, you're worse than Jack. Are you ever going to stop teasing me about that?

M - I'm not teasing. I'm just addressing you the way Teal'c does. In full, hilarious, detail.

D - Ha ha.

M - Did I tell you I got him to call me just 'Michaela' now?

D - You did? How?

M - I asked him to call me Mickey in big capital letters and he offered a compromise.

D - Do you think if I ask him to call me Danny in big capital letters he might call me Daniel?

M - Unlikely. You don't have my charm.

D - Ha!

M - 'Ha!'?

D - I have plenty of charm, thank you. I'm very charming, Sam said so.

M - Oh well, if _Sam_ said so . . .

D - What's that supposed to mean?

M - Daniel, charm is supposed to be a _flirting_ technique. I highly doubt you've ever flirted with Sam. Plus you two have zero chemistry, and are more like brother and sister than anything else, so her opinion on whether or not you're charming is completely null and void.

D - Doesn't mean I'm _not_ charming.

M - No, but I doubt any charm you do have would work on _Teal'c_.

D - Good point. Oh, I almost forgot, Teal'c told me that you told him that you call Sam 'Cat'.

M - My my. Word does travel fast.

D - And then Sam told me why.

M - Did she now?

D - Well, she said it was cos you two got drunk and you were attributing animals to all of us, and you said that Sam reminded you of a cat. What I want to know is _why_ Sam reminds you of a cat. Amongst other things.

M - Why does Sam remind me of a cat?

D - Ah-ha.

M - You mean you don't see it?

D - No. I don't see it.

M - Have you ever seen Sam drunk?

D - Ah, yes, but whenever Sam's drunk I'm mostly too far gone myself to notice what she's like.

M - Okay, well, firstly she gets all giggly and girly, then she starts acting, well _feline_.

D - Sam acts feline?

M - Well, she curls up in a very cat-like manner, and the way she moves is very cat-like, and that's before we get to the fact that she loves cats.

D - I think maybe you were a little bit drunk yourself, Michaela dear.

M - Never say 'Michaela dear' again. Ever.

D - Sorry.

M - And yes I was pretty pissed, so yeah, I guess my obsession of Sam-as-cat was a little exaggerated, but hey, if you had to attribute an animal to her, which would you pick?

D - Okay, yeah, I guess a cat seems reasonable.

M - Thank you.

D - So what were you?

M - Huh?

D - If Sam was a cat, what were you?

M - A rabbit.

D - Why?

M - Cos I'm bouncy and small and my hair is the exact same colour of my old rabbit, and I like lettuce.

D - You like lettuce.

M - Indeed.

D - Well. Lettuce.

M - Daniel?

D - Yes?

M - What did you think of the kiss?

D - The what?

M - Sam and Jack's kiss. What did you think?

D - It was just . . . Jack had to pretend Sam was his wife or they'd have taken her prisoner.

M - I know that, but Teal'c and I think there's more to it than that.

D - Meaning . . .

M - Meaning it stirred emotions in them that they've been trying to ignore.

D - Yeah, well, that's kind of old news.

M - The kiss isn't!

D - It's not like it's the first time they've locked lips.

M - IT'S NOT???? SINCE WHEN?????????

D - Since Sam jumped him in the locker room when she got that alien disease. Were you around back then?

M - No, or I think I might have heard about that one.

D - It was a long time ago.

M - You not going to elaborate on 'that alien disease'?

D - It basically reduced infected people to a Neanderthal level, so that the men got all aggressive and violent, and the women, well . . . I'm sure you can guess.

M - Got all horny and jumped everyone?

D - Not _everyone_. Well, with Sam it wasn't everyone. She just went for Jack.

M - Big surprise.

D - Well actually, this was fairly early on. We'd only been a team for nearly two months, and I hadn't noticed anything between them back then. Janet said she just went for Jack because in her regressed mental state she saw Jack as being the 'alpha male'.

M - Yeah, but you implied that all the other women were being fairly indiscriminate. Going for lots of guys. Why did Sam _only_ go for Jack?

D - I don't know. Maybe he was the first guy she found and she didn't have the chance to get anyone else because he carted her off to the infirmary so quickly.

M - Or maybe it was the beginnings of their developing attraction.

D - It's a strong possibility. Jack did get pretty possessive of her when he got infected. He attacked me when I said I was gonna go see her. You know, to check she was alright.

M - So what exactly did she do?

D - As far as I know, she turned up in the men's locker room in a tank top, said 'I want you' to Jack, and then kissed him. He tried to fight her off and ask her what the hell she was doing, she wrestled him to the ground, he realised she was infected, managed to get them both upright again, and half carried her to the infirmary.

M - She floored him? Isn't Jack supposed to be black ops trained?

D - Yeah, but I imagine having his 2IC jump him took him by surprise. And his mind was probably trying desperately to think sensibly, while his baser instincts were egging her on and blocking all logical thought.

M - Whatever. I still think it shows their attraction.

D - You certainly can't deny it's there now.

M - Nope.

_Pause_

M - Any other kisses I should know about?

D - Not to the best of my knowledge. Unless you count alternate realities.

M - What if we do?

D - Then I got stuck in an alternate reality where they were engaged, once.

M - Engaged? Wow. The universe really is trying to tell them something.

D - If they'd only listen.

M - Yeah. Stubborn little soldiers.

D - Ha! I'm gonna tell them you said that!

M - Go ahead. I'm not scared of Jack.

D - What about Sam?

M - Now she, I imagine, would be scary if she heard that, but I have ways of calming her down.

D - You do? Go on, I'm intrigued.

M - I could pretend my cat died and act all upset. She'd forget all about it.

D - You don't have a cat. And Sam would see right through you.

M - Maybe.

D - Listen, Mickey, I gotta go. Catch you later, though, right?

M - Sure.

D - See ya.

* * *

_Hope you enjoyed it!_

_Beka :-)  
_


	4. Chapter 4

_**Under the microscope - part 4**_

_Enjoy!_

_

* * *

_J - Helloooooooooo. Anyone there? Talk to me people!

M - Let me guess. Paperwork.

S - I thought you'd already finished your report?

J - This is _different_ paperwork.

D - You've _already_ finished your report??? But, Jack, it's only been two days!! I thought your average was a week!!!

J - _ACTUALLY_ my average is four days.

M - More like six.

J - Five.

T - What paperwork have you yet to complete?

J - Wow, we're all here. That's a first. Bored too, are we? And it's a report about Carter, T.

S - Me??? Why? Am I in trouble?

J - Scared of getting sent to the headmaster's office?

M - Leave her alone, you bully. Why are you reporting on Sam?

J - It's nothing to worry about, Carter. Hammond just wants a report from every CO on how they get along with their 2ICs. Every team's doing it.

T - What did you say in the report?

J - That me and Carter get along fine. She's a great 2IC – she follows my orders and thinks for herself as well. That's a surprisingly rare combination.

D - So you don't think maybe this might be aimed directly at you two?

S - How do you mean?

D - Well, you might not have included the kiss in your reports, but it still says Jack pretended to be married to you, doesn't it? Maybe that raised some alarms.

S - You think it might have?

J - No. And for the last time, Daniel, what happened off-world was perfectly innocent, and if I hadn't done it Carter would have ended up in who knows what kind of situation. You think the King would have left her alone after she became one of his 'possessions'???

D - I'm not saying it was the wrong thing to do, I'm just saying maybe the 'powers that be' might not see it your way. And this isn't exactly the first time you and Sam have been scrutinised, is it?

M - It's not?

D - No. Kinsey's accused them of being closer than they ought to be before. He couldn't prove anything though.

J - Cos there's nothing to prove. We've never done anything wrong.

D - Not directly.

S - What's that supposed to mean?

T - The Land of Light.

S - THAT wasn't my fault. I had an alien disease. The General cleared me.

D - What about when Jack kissed your alternate self who'd been married to his alternate self?

M - What? When was this?

D - About a month before you came.

J - And that was completely different. It wasn't really her, and the alternate Carter was grieving for, well, _me._ What was I supposed to do?

D - You know that's the lamest excuse I've ever heard.

M - Did anyone else see this?

D - Me, Teal'c, Sam (our Sam, that is), and maybe an airman.

M - So Hammond didn't see it?

J - No, but you know what the rumour mill's like. And he already knew she was grieving for her late husband Jack O'Neill.

M - That's just . . . _weird_.

S - Tell me about it.

T - Do you believe it likely that this investigation is targeted at you in particular?

J - Okay, maybe. I guess I see why we might be suspect, but there's no point worrying about it, because we haven't done anything wrong, and they can't prove squat.

S - I wouldn't trust someone like Kinsey not to make something out of nothing and push it for all its worth anyway.

D - Or it could be exactly what it looks like: Hammond wants a report on how every team gets along. That wouldn't be so unusual.

J - Exactly.

D - Teal'c, you still there?

T - Indeed.

D - Busy?

T - No.

D - I could use your help with a translation then, if you wouldn't mind.

T - I will be there shortly.

D - Bye guys!

M - Bye Daniel!

J - Ditto.

S - Double ditto.

J - 'Double ditto'?

S - It works.

J - If you say so.

S - I do.

M - Ahem.

J - Yes Michaela?

M - Nothing _Jonathon._

J - Don't take the mickey, Mickey. And I told you not to spread that around.

M - I'm not. It's only Sam here.

S - Who's Jonathon?

M - It's Jack's real name.

S - Really?

J - Yes. And I don't want everyone knowing, so could you two PLEASE not tell anyone else?

S - Sure.

M - You always give in to him so quickly.

S - I'm not 'giving in', I'm just agreeing not to spread around personal information.

J - Yeah!

M - Whatever. Have you ever said no to him?

S - Yes.

M - When?

J - Yeah Carter, when?

S - When you told me to go home on that mission where Jonas Hanson was playing God, when you told me to drop it when I wouldn't leave Nya to be stoned to death, when you asked me to lie to the leader of Yoran about what his son was doing, when you told me to go with you and leave my dad in the Tok'ra base before he'd woken up from the implantation, shall I go on?

M - Wow, Cat, I'm impressed. I thought Jack had you whipped.

J - Yeah, well, like I said, Carter can follow orders _and_ think for herself. She only goes against me when she's right and I'm wrong.

M - Doesn't that happen quite often?

J - I mean in combat situations. And I'm not wrong that often. I don't try and pretend to know about stuff I . . . don't know about.

S - And for the record, NO man has EVER 'had me whipped' thank you very much.

M - You've never been so in love with someone that you'd have done anything they asked?

_Pause_

S - That's complicated. Unfortunately the only guys I fall in love with tend to be emotionally unstable, or have bad pasts or issues. Which generally means that although I may be head-over-heels in love, I never completely trust them.

M - You trust Jack though, right?

S - Yes. And what's that got to do with anything?

M - Nothing.

J - How old are you, Mickey?

M - What's THAT got to do with anything?

J - Nothing, just wondered.

M - I'm 27.

S - God, I feel old.

M - You can't be _that_ much older than me.

S - I'm 35.

J - Only 8 years. And you don't _look_ 35.

S - Thanks, sir.

M - How old are you, Jack.

J - Do I really have to answer that?

M - Yes.

J - Alright. I'm 43.

M - Only 8 years. Older than Sam, that is. You're old enough to legally be my father.

S - Awww, don't be mean, Mickey. And you don't look 43 either, sir.

J - How old do I look?

M - 50.

S - Mickey! You look more like you're in your late thirties, sir.

J - I'm not talking to Michaela now. Carter, can you tell her thank you for the memos but next time could she put them in DATE order, not alphabetical?

M - Cat, can you tell Jack that they were not in alphabetical order, they were in order of IMPORTANCE.

J - Carter, tell Ms Dawson that her idea of importance is crap.

M - Cat, tell Jack he stinks.

J - Carter, tell Mickey she can get her own damn assignment!

M - Cat, tell Jack I couldn't care less!

S - Hey! Time out! Chill!

_Pause_

M _- Chill??_

S - It's a word.

M - You're showing your age, Sam.

J - Leave her alone.

M - Touched a nerve, have I, Jack?

J - What the hell is with you?

M - What the hell is with _you_???

J - You're the one sniping at Sam for no reason!

M - She's a big girl, Jack, she can look after herself!

S - I've got a report to write up. I'll see you guys later.

J - Ditto.

M - Hey? What's this?

M - Oh come on, guys, I was only kidding!

M - Sheesh!

* * *

_It's Christmas time! My Christmas tree has just gone up! Hope you're enjoying the story_

_Beka :-)_


	5. Chapter 5

**_Under the microscope - part 5_**

_Okaay, so I might have to up the rating to Mature for this chapter for one bad four letter word. If its likely to offend you, skip the first line. If its likely to offend you so much that you want to skip the chapter ... then there's not a lot I can do other than say sorry!_

_

* * *

_

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*

M - Daniel. I am in deep shit. I need help.

D - Michaela Dawson, you are far too young to be using language like that.

M - Shut up, Danny, I'm really in trouble!

D - Okay, calm down, and tell me what's up.

M - Jack and Sam aren't speaking to me.

D - Well, Jack I can understand, you two are always arguing, but Sam? What did you do? She doesn't fall out with people easily, but when she does, it's pretty bad.

M - Well, I don't _think_ she's speaking to me. Jack's certainly not.

D - Alright, what exactly happened?

M - After you left the conversation half an hour ago, me, Jack and Sam kept talking, and I teased Jack a bit, and we had a minor argument that got slightly out of hand, Sam intervened, and I was, well, a bit sarky with her. Jack got on the defensive on her behalf, I made another not-so-smart comment, and they both made an excuse and left.

D - Okaaaaaay. It certainly sounds like they're both a little pissed at you. Depending on what you actually said, you can probably make it up to Sam by groveling.

M - You think that'll work?

D - Probably. If you show her you're genuinely sorry I'm sure she'll come round.

M - What about Jack?

D - How pissed at you would you say he is, on a scale of 1-10?

M - About 7. Maybe 8.

D - Ouch. Okay, stay out of his way for today, then maybe do a bit of groveling tomorrow. If he snipes at you DO NOT fire up and talk back. Just let him say what he has to say, and let it be.

M - Okay. Thanks Daniel.

D - No problem. And Mickey?

M - Yeah?

D - Try not to make a habit of this. You're the best admin help we've ever had and I _really_ don't want you getting reassigned.

M - Awww, thanks Danny. You're making me tear up.

D - Just make it up with Jack and Sam, okay?

M - Okay. See you later.

*

D - Sam, you there?

S - Hey Daniel.

D - I, er, just heard from Mickey.

S - Yeah?

D - She says you're pissed at her.

S - Did she.

D - So you are?

S - A little.

D - What exactly happened?

S - She and the colonel were winding each other up, and I got some of the backlash.

D - She's really sorry.

S - Good for her.

D - She was really worried that you weren't talking to her. I told her groveling might help.

S - Yeah, it probably will. Won't work with the colonel though.

D - He pissed at her too?

S - Even more so. I think he was more offended by what she said than I was. And then she made a snipey comment about how quickly he jumped to my defense, which kinda pissed us both off, especially considering how much she keeps going on about me and him. Not that there's anything to go on _about_.

D - Well, anyway, I just thought you should know that she is really sorry.

S - I know. They both just got a bit carried away.

D - So you're not going to stay mad at her?

S - Depends how good a groveler she is.

D - Fair enough.

S - How's the translation going?

D - Slowly. Very slowly. It's an extremely obscure Goa'uld dialect.

S - I should let you get back to it.

D - Yeah, probably. Play nicely with Mickey.

S - Ha! She'll be lucky. Have fun with the translation.

*

M - Sam? Are you there?

S - I'm here.

M - I'm really really sorry about what I said. It was way out of order, I just got a bit carried away. You know what I'm like.

S - Yeah, I guess.

M - Forgive me?

S - Maybe.

M - Would a chocolate bar do it?

S - Not quite.

M - Bowl of jello?

S - Blue?

M - Of course.

S - Go on then.

M - Thank you thank you thank you! You're an angel Cat, I love you! Won't be a tick, and you shall have your jello!

* * *

_Hope you enjoyed it! Thank you to everyone who's reviewed so far, I really appreciate it._

_Beka :-)  
_


	6. Chapter 6

_**Under the Microscope - part 6**_

_Okay, I know this is a very very short chapter - I split it all into chapters before I started, taking into account how a chapter should flow ... and clearly I screwed up somehow because this one ended up tiny. Tell you what, I'll post two today. Don't say I never do anything for you!_

_Enjoy!  
_

* * *

D - Jack?

J - Daniel?

D - Still pissed at Mickey?

J - You heard about that, did you?

D - She told me herself. She was really worried and guilty about it. I think she's currently grovelling to Sam for forgiveness.

J - I hope Carter's giving her hell.

D - Awww, come on, she just got a bit carried away.

J - She had a go at Sam just for trying to stop us arguing! Then she had a go at me for defending Sam! And she did it in such a way that I'm not sure whether she was calling me old or implying I have inappropriate feelings for my 2IC. Either way I'm pissed at her.

D - She's really sorry.

J - Why do you always have to be the peacemaker?

D - It's what I'm good at.

J - Daniel?

D - Yeah?

J - How old would you say I look?

D - Why?

J - It's what we were arguing about. She said I look about 50. Probably as a joke, but, you know.

D - You don't look 50. More like 40.

J - Carter said late thirties.

D - Yeah, well that's Sam, isn't it.

J - What's that supposed to mean?

D - Umm, nothing.

J - Daniel . . .

D - Just that she's not exactly impartial, is she? She sees you differently to, the average person, shall we say.

J - Daniel, if you're driving at what I _think_ you're driving at, then do yourself a favour and shut up now.

D - Okeydokey. See you later!

J - Daniel!

* * *

_Hope you liked it!_

_Beka :-)  
_


	7. Chapter 7

**_Under the microscope - part 7_**

_Back to the fluff. I may have made Sam a bit too sensitive in this chapter, so I'm sorry about that if it bothers you._

_Enjoy!  
_

* * *

M - Daniel, Teal'c, I need to talk to you NOW so drop what you're doing and talk to me!

T - What is it, Michaela?

D - Wow, you weren't kidding about the 'Michaela' thing, were you Mickey?

M - No I wasn't, but this isn't the time to talk about it. Sam's crying.

D - What, why?

M - Jack.

T - What has he done?

M - I'm not really sure. Sam wouldn't tell me. I think it might have started off as being about her forgiving me, though. After that I figure they just got arguing and Jack said something stupid.

D - Is she okay?

M - No Daniel, she's crying.

D - Right now?

M - I don't know, she was a minute ago, then I gave her a hug, she refused to talk about and said she'd be fine and just wanted to be on her own.

T - Did she actually mention O'Neill?

M - Yeah, when I first found her, I asked her what was wrong, and she just said 'the colonel . . .' before bursting into tears.

D - God, it must have been bad for her to be crying. I've known Sam six years and I could count the number of times I've seen her cry on one hand.

M - What should we do?

T - I will talk to O'Neill. Daniel Jackson, I suggest you go to Major Carter.

D - Yeah, good idea.

M - What about me?

D - If I were you, I'd just keep your head down for the moment.

M - You think it's my fault, don't you? You're probably right.

D - I'm not saying it's your fault, I'm just saying things are very delicate with Sam and Jack, so it might be best if you let me and Teal'c handle it.

M - Okay. Good luck.

D - Thanks. We'll let you know how things go.

*

T - O'Neill.

_Pause_

T - O'Neill.

J - I don't wanna hear it, T.

_Pause_

J - Good, cos I'm not in the mood.

_Pause_

J - Alright, what?

T - Major Carter is crying.

_Pause_

J - What?

T - I do not know what about, nor for how long, but Michaela is of the impression it has something to do with you.

J - I . . . I didn't know she was crying.

_Pause_

J - You think I've done something to upset her, don't you.

T - Have you?

_Pause_

J - I didn't mean to.

T - What did you do?

J - I just . . . I did a Mickey. I got carried away. I didn't know she was that upset about it.

J - I mean, I knew she was pissed, but I didn't know I'd really hurt her.

T - What did you say to her?

_Pause_

J - That she was always letting people walk all over her, like Mickey and Jonas Hanson, and . . .

_Pause_

T - And.

J - And she might have got the mistaken impression that I thought she was, I dunno, weak, dependant -–the thing Carter hates people to think she is. I don't, by the way, I just got . . .

T - Carried away.

J - Yeah.

T - Did you apologise?

_Pause_

J - No.

T - She was crying, O'Neill.

J - I know! I got that part, thank you.

_Pause_

J - I'll go talk to her.

T - I do not believe that would be wise.

J - Well, what would you have me do?

T - Wait. Daniel Jackson is with her at the moment. When he lets myself and Michaela know how she is, I will let you know whether you can go to her.

J - What the hell is Mickey doing getting involved?

T - If you wish to regain Major Carter's friendship, I suggest you begin by forgiving Michaela.

_Pause_

T - I must go now. Think about it.

*

D - Mickey? Teal'c?

M - Daniel?

T - Daniel Jackson. How is she?

D - She's . . . okay, I guess. She told me what happened, and it sounds like Jack just got carried away. They were arguing about Mickey, and now Sam thinks Jack thinks she hasn't got the balls for this job. I told her that was nuts, but she's pretty upset.

M - Oh God, it _is_ all my fault!

T - It is not, Michaela. This is a case of O'Neill getting carried away, Major Carter taking him too seriously, and them both being stubborn. You are merely a side-factor.

D - Yeah, Mickey, you may have started it, but the rest is completely Jack's fault. He's too bloody stubborn.

T - I have spoken with O'Neill.

M - What did he say?

T - He was genuinely sorry and ashamed that he had upset Samantha, and was anxious to see her and make amends. I told him to wait.

M - For what?

T - For Daniel Jackson to tell us how Samantha was. Also I felt it best if they were allowed some time apart to calm down.

D - Yeah, that was probably sensible.

M - So what now?

T - Daniel Jackson, do you think Major Carter is ready to see him?

D - Yeah I think so, as long as he tries not to be such as ass.

T - I will let him know.

*

T - O'Neill.

J - Teal'c? How's Carter?

T - Daniel Jackson has confirmed your suspicions.

J - What suspicions?

T - That Major Carter believed you meant she 'didn't have balls' for this job.

J - That's nonsense! She's got more balls than most of the guys in this mountain! I never meant that!

T - It is her you have to tell this to.

J - Now?

T - If you wish.

J - Thank you Teal'c! You're a life-saver.

* * *

_Hope you liked it, and please review._

_Thanks!_

_Beka :-)  
_


	8. Chapter 8

**_Under the microscope - part 8_**

_Here's chapter 8! Enjoy!_

_

* * *

_J - Carter? You there?

S - Yes sir.

J - Look, I've been a tremendous, stupendous, ridiculous, incredibly stupid ass. I didn't mean what I said and I certainly didn't mean it the way Teal'c says Daniel says you took it.

S - Gossiping about me, are they?

J - They're just trying to help. Okay, so it should have been me doing all the figuring out and grovelling, but as they already told me how you feel, can I just grovel?

S - It's a free country.

J - Pleeaaaase forgive me, Sam. You know me, I just get carried away, like Mickey. I guess that's why she and I are always at each others' throats. And for the record, you've got more balls than the majority of the guys in this mountain and I never meant to imply otherwise. At all.

_Pause_

S - I'm sorry.

J - For what???

S - I guess I kind of got carried away too. And not just while we were arguing. Truth is you hit a little close to home with the 'letting people walk all over me' thing. It's just that I've had a lot of failed relationships because of falling for ass-holes and then letting them 'walk all over me' and I've been trying so hard to convince myself, you, and everyone else that I'm not like that anymore. It just hurt, that's all.

J - I'm really really really sorry. And I really didn't mean it; you know that, don't you?

S - Yeah, I guess. Thanks for grovelling.

J - Did it help?

S - It helped.

J - So am I forgiven?

S - I guess. Have you forgiven Mickey?

J - Yeah. I was just being the stubborn old jackass I am.

S - You're not a jackass. Or old.

J - Stubborn, though.

S - That, unfortunately, I have to agree with. It's not always a bad thing.

J - It's not?

S - No.

J - Well that's good.

S - Yep.

J - Daniel and Teal'c are having dinner. Wanna join them?

S - Sure.

J - Great. See you in a minute?

S - Yeah.

J - Bye.

*

M - Cat? Cazzy, talk to me! Please!

S - Hey, Mickey.

M - I've been hearing all sorts of rumours! PLEAAAASE tell me they're not true!

S - I guess that would depend on what you heard.

M - The mildest one is that General Hammond gave you and Jack an official warning about that kiss, and the worst is that you two are getting court-martialled! Please tell me it's not true, I'm getting hysterical with worry!

S - We're not getting court-martialled.

M - But?

S - There's gonna be an official investigation.

M - Oh, Cat!

S - I might get reassigned.

M - To where? They need you here!

S - I mean to another team. Or not. I could just work in the labs.

M - But they don't know for sure! They haven't got any proof! I mean, no one saw it apart from SG-1, and none of you have told!

S - They don't need proof. The NID and Kinsey have been waiting for something like this to jump on for years.

M - But, ultimately, they won't be able to prove it. You guys can just deny it. I'm sure Daniel and Teal'c would lie for you.

S - That's not the point. And we couldn't ask them to lie. But we wouldn't have to, cos all anyone's got to do is send a team through the gate to P8Y 252 and _ask_ the guards who asked us to prove we were married!

M - But, the NID, they couldn't do that, could they?

S - They could if they got a presidential order. And Kinsey could probably get that, no problem.

M - Okay, let's just take a deep breath, and think about this logically. So they're gonna find out. Just own up now, and explain to General Hammond that there wasn't any choice. If Jack hadn't kissed you, you'd have been taken hostage by the King and his goons, and then you'd have had a seriously hostile situation on your hands. (a), we'd have had to spend lots of money negotiating to get you out of there, or (b) we'd have had to plan a rescue mission risking the lives of SG personnel who cost a heck of a lot to train, meanwhile (c), you'd have probably been raped by the King, or his goons, or both.

_Pause_

S - What am I gonna do, Mickey? I'm really scared.

M - Just tell the truth.

S - I can't tell them the fucking truth! I _love _him!

M - Then maybe you need to get reassigned.

_Pause_

S - What?

M - Think about it Sam. I _know_ you love being on SG-1, and God knows the guys love having you there with them, but if you really and truly love Jack, should you be working with him in front-line situations?

S - I'm so scared.

M - Don't cry, Cat.

S - I'm not.

M - Yes you are. And you're a terrible liar.

S - Okay, so I'm crying. I'm upset. My career's on the line, here.

M - You want me to come over and give you a hug?

S - Yes please. I don't want to just sit here on my own waiting for someone to tell me I'm fired.

M - They won't fire you Sam. You said yourself – worst case scenario you get reassigned.

S - Whatever, just come round?

M - I'm on my way, sweetheart. See you in a minute.

* * *

_Dun Dun DUUUN! We're about half way through the story. Hope you're all enjoying it so far!_

_Beka  
_


	9. Chapter 9

_**Under the Microscope - part 9**_

_Sorry for the somewhat longish wait - just got back from a computer dead zone. Hail to the internet. Also, some more bad words in this chapter, don't read if you're going to be offended.  
_

_Enjoy!  
_

* * *

D - Jack? What was that meeting about, that you and Sam had to go to? Cos Mickey just told me there's some really scary rumours going round.

J - It's the fucking rumours that started this.

D - Started what? You're not really getting court-martialled, are you?

J - No. Well, probably not.

D - _Probably_ not? But they don't know anything!!!

J - They don't need to. They've heard the rumours.

D - But rumours . . . they can't convict you for _rumours_!!!

J - Kinsey will try. You just watch him. There's going to be an official investigation about whether or not me and Carter are breaching the frat regs, or just getting too close. You and Teal'c will be interviewed.

D - What do you want us to say about the kiss?

J - Tell them the truth.

D - Are you sure?

J - Yes. Lying now will just get us in more trouble.

D - Okay. How's Sam coping with all this?

J - I don't know, I haven't seen her since the meeting.

D - But how was she in the meeting?

J - Same as me. Shocked and angry. We've never done anything wrong. We all know what would have happened to her if they weren't convinced we were married.

D - Yeah. You just need to explain that to the people leading the investigation.

J - Like they'll listen. They'll be little NID creeps biased against us from the start.

D - Sam knows that NID guy, doesn't she? Agent Barrett? Couldn't he pull some strings? Get you a fair hearing?

J - Worth a shot.

D - Yeah. You should tell Teal'c and Mickey what's going on too. Mickey was really worried.

J - I will. Actually, I'll do it now.

D - Okay. Do you need me to do anything now? Start working on a defence case, get people rallying on your side?

J - Sure, whatever. Knock yourself out.

D - It'll be alright, Jack.

J - I hope so.

*

J - Teal'c? Can I talk to you?

T - Of course, O'Neill. What do you wish to discuss?

J - Have the rumours reached you yet?

T - To which rumours are you referring?

J - The surprise meeting me and Carter had to attend.

T - I have heard nothing.

J - There's going to be an official investigation. Somehow Kinsey and his NID pals got wind of the rumours about me kissing Carter. Now they want to investigate our 'relationship' and decide whether we're breaking the regs or just getting too close to each other.

T - Who told the NID?

J - We don't know, and we probably never will. They're gonna want to interview you.

T - I see.

_Pause_

J - Teal'c?

T - Yes, O'Neill.

J - I know how you like to do the silent thing when you get interviewed by people you don't like, but I don't think it will work in our favour this time.

T - I will speak, O'Neill. I will make them see that you are innocent, and that you would never break the fraternisation regulations.

J - Thanks, T. It means a lot.

T - We are friends, O'Neill. It is simple loyalty. You would do the same for me.

J - Yeah, I would. Not that you're ever likely to fall for Carter.

J - I meant be accused. Be accused of falling for Carter.

T - Indeed.

J - Have you seen Mickey recently? She's not answering on IM.

T - Is it possible she is with Major Carter?

J - Yeah, I s'pose it is. I'll try there. Thanks for your support, buddy.

T - You are most welcome.

*

J - Carter? You there?

_Pause_

S - Jack, it's Mickey. Sam's just gone to the bathroom.

J - Actually, I was just checking to see if she knew where you were, and if you'd been told yet. Guess you have.

S - Yeah. Sam's really worried about it.

J - Yeah. Me too.

S - These NID guys, are any of them decent?

J - I wouldn't know. I've only met a handful.

S - But they were all ass-holes?

J - Pretty much.

S - God, why did this have to happen? Why now?

J - Cos I kissed her. That's what it comes down to.

S - But she would have been taken hostage! The King would have _owned_ her! And Sam's a very attractive woman. He wouldn't have just left her alone and you knew that, which is why you did what you did. You probably saved her from being raped.

_Pause_

J - No one's said it before.

S - What, rape?

J - Yeah. It churns my stomach just thinking about it.

S - So tell the investigators. Tell them what would have happened if you hadn't kissed her. They'll get it.

J - What if they don't?

S - Then Sam will get reassigned. That is the worst that can happen.

S - She's coming back, I have to go.

J - Okay. Tell her it'll be alright, we'll figure it out.

S - I will.

* * *

_Hope you liked it! In case there was any confusion, in the second half Mickey was in Sam's lab, on Sam's IM account, which is why her dialogue began with 'S -' because that's what Jack would have seen. Maybe I shouldn't have bothered with all that and just used an 'M -'. Sorry!_

_Beka  
_


	10. Chapter 10

_**Under the microscope - part 10**_

_It's time for the interviews! The next few chapters will be the interviews of Sam and Jack's friends. Enjoy! And review!  
_

* * *

RECORD OF INTERVIEW: 08/05/06 0900

DR DANIEL M JACKSON

INTERVIEWER: MR ROBERT WOOLSEY

W - Dr Jackson. Please take a seat.

W - You've been called here for interview as a result of –

D - I know why you're interviewing me. You're trying to convict my team mates for crimes they didn't commit.

W - I'll be the judge of that, if you don't mind. I have come into this investigation as a neutral party, and I hope I can count on your co-operation. Now, shall we start at your recent mission to P8Y 252?

D - What do you want to know?

W - In the words of your own mission report: 'Colonel O'Neill was therefore forced to pretend that he and Major Carter were married, so that she [Major Carter] was not taken prisoner by the King.'

D - Yes.

W - I find this a little vague. Especially considering the allegations that have been made.

D - Yes, what are they, exactly?

W - Behaviour unbecoming of an airforce officer.

D - Meaning . . .

W - Breaking of the fraternisation regulations. Why don't you tell me exactly what happened, in full detail, of the events leading up to and during this part of the mission.

D - (sigh) After we'd been on the planet five minutes, three of the King's Royal Guard apprehended us. They said that Major Carter was breaking the law. I asked how. They said that women were not permitted to carry weapons. I tried to explain to them that we were explorers from another planet, where the rules were different, and that we were sorry if we'd offended them, but they wouldn't listen. They said that by their laws, she was now the King's property. Obviously, we weren't too happy with that, and we all argued back. We offered to leave and never return, but they seemed really pleased that they'd caught Sam, and wouldn't let her go.

W - Dr Jackson, for the purpose of the tape, could you please stick to military titles, and not use first names.

D - Sorry. They wouldn't let _Major Carter_ go. I asked if there was any circumstance in which the law wouldn't apply, and they said that if she was already claimed, or 'owned', by another man, the law would be void.

W - And the definition of 'owned' was married?

D - Yes. If Sam – sorry – Major Carter was already married to one of us, they couldn't take her.

W - And so Colonel O'Neill leapt into the role?

D - I wouldn't say leapt. It's not like he had any choice. Either we said Sam was married to one of us, or they took her. Period. As the team leader, Jack took responsibility.

W - Dr Jackson, military titles, please.

D - Sorry.

W - Were they required to provide any proof, or did these Royal Guards just take your word for it?

_Pause_

W - Dr Jackson.

D - They told Jack to – sorry – they told _Colonel O'Neill_ to prove that he was married to Major Carter.

W - What did he do?

D - Well, he obviously didn't have any legal documents on him saying she was his wife, so there really was very little he could do to convince them.

W - So he did nothing? And they just let you go?

D - Not exactly.

W - Dr Jackson, did Colonel O'Neill kiss Major Carter?

D - Who told you that?

W - It doesn't matter. Answer the question, please.

_Pause_

D - He didn't have any choice. He had a split second to act before they would have taken her away.

W - Yes or no, please, Dr Jackson. Did Colonel O'Neill kiss Major Carter?

_Pause_

D - Yes.

W - Thank you. Now, did the guards accept that she was his wife after this?

D - Yes. They let her go.

W - Has anything like this happened before?

D - Define 'like this'.

W - Has Colonel O'Neill been – forced – to fake a marriage with Major Carter before?

D - No.

W - Have they pretended to be in a relationship before?

D - No.

W - Have they broken the fraternisation regulations before?

D - They haven't broken them now! I told you, Jack didn't have a choice! The King would have taken Sam!

W - Has Colonel O'Neill displayed affection – fake or otherwise – for his second-in-command in the past?

D - 'Affection' is a very _vague_ word. I often display 'affection' for Sam because she's my friend.

W - Is that how you'd define their relationship? As friends?

D - Yes.

W - Has Colonel O'Neill kissed Major Carter before?

_Pause_

D - No.

W - You hesitated.

D - (sigh) I'm sure you're aware of the 'Land of Light' incident which doesn't count because (a) it was Major Carter kissing Colonel O'Neill, not the other way round, and (b) she was under the influence of an alien disease.

W - Is that the only instance where a kiss has occurred between Colonel O'Neill and Major Carter?

D - Yes.

_Pause_

W - Thank you for your time, Doctor Jackson.

D - Are we done?

W - For the moment. I shall want to speak to you again.

* * *

_Dun dun DUUUUN! Let me know what you thought. More soon!_

_Beka  
_


	11. Chapter 11

_**Under the microscope - part 11**_

_Happy New Year everyone! My new year's resolutions are to stop wasting time and to stop eating cream buns. :-P You'll know if I succeed in stopping the time-wasting, because I'll update far more regularly!_

_Enjoy!  
_

* * *

RECORD OF INTERVIEW: 08/05/06 10:15

TEAL'C

INTERVIEWER: MR ROBERT WOOLSEY

W - Teal'c, please sit down.

W - I trust I can rely on you to co-operate.

T - Indeed.

W - Dr Jackson tells me that during your recent mission to P8Y 252 Colonel O'Neill kissed Major Carter as a means of 'proving' their marriage.

_Pause_

W - Can you confirm this?

T - Yes.

W - Why did you not include it in your report?

T - There was no need.

W - Teal'c, while the rules and regulations of the USAF may be lost on you, has your commanding officer not impressed upon you the importance of accurate mission reports?

T - My report was accurate.

W - But not complete.

T - That is a matter of opinion.

W - And your opinion is that two airforce officers breaking regulations laid down by this government is not worthy of mention?

T - I said that Colonel O'Neill was forced to pretend he was married to Major Carter, in order to prevent her capture. That was adequate.

W - I'm sorry Teal'c, but your idea of 'adequate' just isn't good enough for the United States government.

_Pause_

W - Have you made omissions in your mission reports in the past, involving the actions of Colonel O'Neill and Major Carter?

T - Colonel O'Neill and Major Carter are honourable warriors. They are responsible for saving the lives of everyone on this world, and several other worlds, many times over. They do not deserve the injustice you are serving them.

_Teal'c gets up to leave._

W - Teal'c! We're not done here.

T - I believe we are.

* * *

_Sorry about the shortness of this chapter - blame it on the episode 'Heroes', in season 7. I'd just watched that when I wrote this, and Teal'c's attitude to questioning in that situation sort of seeped into this chapter ..._

_Anyhoo, please review! And have a great 2009!_

_Beka  
_


	12. Chapter 12

**_Under the microscope - part 12_**

_Here's chapter 12! It touches on adult material at the end so I guess I should probably label this chapter 'M' ... please don't read it if you're likely to be offended. I'm always a little anxious about not warning people and then being flamed for people reading things and being offended. It's a reasonably tame 'M' though, if it does classify as one. I'm not sure._

_Anyhoo, enough of my prattling. Enjoy Mickey's interview with Woolsey!  
_

_

* * *

_RECORD OF INTERVIEW: 08/05/06 1100

CAPTAIN MICHAELA RUTH DAWSON

INTERVIEWER: MR ROBERT WOOLSEY

W - Hello Ms Dawson. Take a seat.

_Pause_

W - I trust you know why you're here.

M - It's 'Captain' Dawson. Actually.

W - I apologise. Please answer the question.

M - Yes, I know why I'm here.

W - I need to know how you, as a close friend of SG-1, perceive the relationship between Colonel Jonathon O'Neill and Major Samantha Carter.

M - He likes to be called 'Jack', not Jonathon.

_Pause_

W - Ms Dawson . . .

M - Captain.

W - This process will go a lot more quickly and be a lot easier for everyone if you just co-operate.

M - I am co-operating.

W - Alright then. What is your impression of the relationship between Colonel O'Neill and Major Carter?

M - They're friends.

W - Just friends?

M - Just friends.

_Pause_

W - Do you have anything to add?

M - Just that this investigation is an affront to them and to the SGC, and we are all taking extreme offence.

W - Captain Dawson, breaches in the fraternisation regulations are a very serious matter.

M - Then you'd better go away and find one to deal with, cos you certainly won't find one here.

W - Dr. Jackson and Teal'c have both confirmed that Colonel O'Neill and Major Carter have in fact breached regulations, in that they shared a kiss on P8Y 252.

M - Oh for the love of God!!! Do you people never quit!?!?!? If he hadn't done what he did, do you know what would have happened?

W - I'm not here to speculate, Captain.

M - Oh really? Well I'll tell you what would have happened. Sam would have been taken hostage by the King's goons, and locked up in some dank cell somewhere, while the others were either sent home or kept at arms length. Then, Sam would have been raped.

_Pause_

W - You don't know that.

M - OH YES I BLOODY DO! She's a beautiful girl, and the King would have owned her. Daniel told me those guards were ogling her like they wanted a piece, and the King wouldn't have just left her alone either. She would have been _raped_. You know what that's like?

W - No.

M - Me neither. And I hope never to find out. Now, are we done?

_Pause._

W - For now. Please tell Major Carter I will see her at 1300 hours.

* * *

_Hope you liked it! Only three chapters left now ..._

_Beka  
_


	13. Chapter 13

**_Under the microscope - part 13_**

_For once, I have nothing to say, but this: Enjoy, and review!  
_

* * *

M - Cat, talk to me.

S - Mickey, how did it go?

M - I almost hit him.

S - You what?!

M - He didn't seem to get that Jack didn't have a choice, and I kinda lost it.

S - How bad?

M - There was yelling.

S - Oh God.

M - Don't worry, he went a bit quiet after I yelled at him about what those pigs would have done to you if Jack had let them take you, so I think I got through.

S - Mick, we don't know that anything would have happened.

M - Yes we bloody well do! Daniel said those bastards were looking at you in a way that made him want to kill them and lock you in a convent. Don't pretend you didn't notice.

S - He said that?

M - Yes he did. And that's what I told Woolsey. I made it absolutely clear to him that the only other way out of that situation involved you getting raped. He looked a bit shocked.

S - I'll bet he did.

_Pause_

M - You okay?

S - Sure. I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?

M - You mean aside from the obvious investigation jitters? I guess I just wondered whether all this talk about you getting raped is giving you the . . . I dunno, shivers.

S - I'm not scared to go out and looking over my shoulder at every guy I see, if that's what you mean.

M - Were you scared?

S - On P8Y 252? No. The guys were there, and I had my gun. I wasn't scared.

M - I would have been. I guess that's why I'm an admin help and not a field officer.

S - You'd make a great field officer. I've always thought that.

M - Nah. Give me paper work and memos any day. I love my desk.

S - And the Colonel thinks _I'm_ a geek.

M - I'm too cool to be a geek.

S - Ha! Too loopy maybe.

M - This is all gonna blow over, Sam.

S - I hope so.

M - He wants you at 1300 hours.

S - D'oh.

M - You talked to Jack recently?

S - No. I think he's hiding in his office. A bit like I'm doing, actually.

M - I have to write a report on how you and Jack 'interact on base'. Good luck for later.

S - Thanks. I have a feeling I'll need it.

M - Luv ya.

S - Bye.

*

M - Jack? Daniel? Teal'c?

J - Yeah.

D - Mickey?

M - Hey guys. T, you there?

_Pause_

J - I think he said something about getting in some Kel'no'reem.

M - Okay, then, I'll catch up with him later.

J - How did it go?

M - Ah, not sure.

J - Uh oh.

M - It's not like I said anything incriminating. I just . . . lost my temper a bit. Yelled a lot about how Sam would have got raped if you hadn't done what you did.

D - I shiver every time I hear that.

J - Join the club.

M - I don't think Sam particularly likes hearing it either.

D - I've been trying not to say the word in front of her.

M - Me too. I think the thought scares her more than she's letting on.

J - She had her interview yet?

M - She's having it now.

D - She didn't say. I would have wished her luck.

M - I did it for you.

J - She okay?

M - I dunno. I mean, no, obviously she's scared she's gonna lose her job. I'm keeping an eye on her.

D - She's not as tough as she likes to make out.

M - I know. Don't worry, I'm not letting her play the tough guy.

J - She opens up to you anyway.

D - Must be a girl thing.

M - Woman thing, Danny, we're not teenagers.

J - You act like one though.

M - Hark who's talking!

D - Seriously though, this is all just gonna blow over, isn't it?

J - Course it is. We've done nothing wrong.

M - There's no evidence to the contrary, so Woolsey's got nothing to go on.

D - Good.

_Pause_

J - So . . .

D - So.

M - So?

J - I got paperwork to do.

M - Me too.

D - Let us know how Sam does, Mick?

M - Sure. Later, guys.

J - See ya

D - Bye

* * *

_Hope you liked it! Thanks for reading._

_Beka  
_


	14. Chapter 14

**_Under the microscope - part 14  
_**

_It's nearly over ... only one more chapter after this. Enjoy!_

_

* * *

_S - Mickey?

M - Cat! How did it go?

S - It was horrible. He practically accused me of sleeping with the colonel.

M - That asshole!!! Was he not listening to what I was yelling at him earlier?

S - He thinks that although the incident on P8Y 252 may have been necessary, there's still a lot of suspicion that the colonel and I are too close, and he feels he has to get to the bottom of it.

M - Did you yell at him?

S - No. I got very very angry, but I didn't yell, I just shook with rage.

M - That's you all over.

S - What's that supposed to mean?

M - You don't blow up in front of people, you bottle it up and hold it in and simmer inwardly.

S - Whatever.

M - You do! That's why the guys have only seen you cry a handful of times in all the years you've known them.

S - That's just cos I'm not a crier.

M - Nonsense. I've seen you cry twice in the last two days.

S - Stuff's been happening. I've been acting like a stupid little kid, I know.

M - Don't be silly, you've been acting like a perfectly normal human being. For once.

S - I need to go Mickey, I have to tell the colonel when his appointment is.

M - Okay, I'll catch you later.

S - Bye.

*

S - Colonel?

J - Carter! How did it go?

S - Badly. He hates us.

J - Bastard.

S - Your turn's at 1600 hours.

J - Yay. Can't wait.

S - Just don't kill him, sir.

J - Would I?

S - Mickey nearly hit him. And she's a desk jockey.

J - A spunky desk jockey with a very short temper. And a soft spot for you and me.

S - Fair enough. Just bear in mind that sending him back to Washington with a black eye would not work in our favour.

J - Duly noted.

S - Good luck sir.

J - Thanks Carter. I'll let you know how it goes.

S - Yes sir.

*

J - Team, check in.

D - Here Jack.

M - Yo Chingy.

S - Here sir.

T - I am here, O'Neill.

J - Mickey, you are a certifiable fruitcake.

M - Just trying to lighten the mood.

J - Oookaaaaay. I just got back from my interrogation, I'm in a very bad mood, but I think we're okay.

S - We are?

J - I have a good feeling.

D - Just a feeling?

T - Woolsey has no evidence, nor indeed any statements that implicate O'Neill and Major Carter.

M - So we won?

J - I don't know yet. I'm just saying, I have a good feeling that we might be nearing the end, and we're okay.

S - Thank God for that.

J - Amen.

M - So, pizza?

J - Pizza sounds good.

D - I could go for that.

T - I am quite hungry.

S - I'll bring the beer.

* * *

_Please review and let me know what you think. Thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed so far, I really appreciate it._

_Beka  
_


	15. Chapter 15

_**Under the microscope - part 15 (aka the END!!!)**_

_This is it, the final chapter. I hope you've all enjoyed the story!_

_

* * *

_M - Cat?

M - Cat, come on, talk to me, I can't take the suspense.

M - CAZZY!!!!!!!!!

S - Michaela, I love you.

M - Sam, do you want another investigation on you? We're airforce officers.

_Pause_

M - Can I take it this means you're clear?

S - AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm not getting fired!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

M - Told you it would all blow over.

S - I love you I love you I love you!!!!!!!!!

M - Calm down, girl. Hey, fancy celebrating?

S - Love to. Will there be beer?

M - Much beer, my friend. And maybe champagne.

S - Overkill?

M - I think not.

S - Very well, _ma petite fleur._

M - Sam?

S - Yeah?

M - Call me a little flower again and the party's off.

S - Sorry.

M - So, beer?

S - I could go for beer. Bring the guys.

M - Yes ma'am.

* * *

_Ok, so it was short, but still I hope you like it as an end to the story. Thank you to EVERYONE who has reviewed, you are all wonderful wonderful people for encouraging me. Au revoir!_

_Beka  
_


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